King Harkinian
Biography King Harkinian once went to Africa for a vacation, but was attacked by an angry mob after he defied a local leader by insisting on his right to eat shit. Luckily, he was rescued by Dr. Rabbit.King Harkinian is Attacked by an Army of Angry Black Men Later, The King asked his daughter Zelda to make dinner for Duke Onkled, but Zelda refused, so The King tried making toast by himself. In the process, he started a fire and was forced to flee with Gwonam. The pair ended up back in Africa, where The King ran out of money after a month. Even worse, the natives found The King and attacked him, but were repelled by Zelda.King Harkinian Makes Dinner Back in Hyrule, The King's friendship with Duke Onkled deteriorated after Duke Onkled held The King captive for a month as part of a twisted sex game. The duke was punished for this,The Twisted Sex Games of Duke Onkled but then he tried to rape Zelda while The King was away. The King returned in time to protect his daughter and ordered Duke Onkled's imprisonment.King Harkinian Somewhat Redeems Himself Skills and Abilities King Harkinian is a capable pilot if his handling of Gwonam's X-wing is any indication. After he stole it, he performed a barrel roll, flew beyond Neptune, and even blew up the Death Star.Gwonam Buys an X-wing on eBay He once flew an Arwing while fighting Mario Head, but was shot down.Mario's head is EVIL He sucks at computer programming, though; when he built a robotic replacement for Link, all it did was insult him.MechaLink The King also appears to possess limited precognitive powers; in a dream, he foresaw Mario mocking Luigi for being gay, which set off a cataclysmic series of events. When The King woke up, he rushed to the Mushroom Kingdom and punched Mario out before he could insult Luigi.The last stand against WeeGee Part 3 Personality The King is very protective of his daughter, Zelda, and had Duke Onkled sent to prison for asking her for sex.King Harkinian Somewhat Redeems Himself Before then, The King seemed to have a close relationship with the duke, and he once spent a whole month aiding him.King Harkinian Aids Duke Onkled The King also appears to be tolerant of gay people, since he allowed Luigi to marry Gwonam; in fact, he forced Gwonam to go through with the ceremony. The King might be gay himself; he once said he was gay, although he immediately retracted the statement and moved to San Francisco,The King accidentally admits that he's gay and he willingly performed oral sex on Duke Onkled once. The King sometimes wears pink when he gets drunk.Typical Sunday Afternoon Personal Life The King has had a YouTube account, named "DinnerWarrior", since November 14, 2008, and is a creator of YouTube Poops. He has over 1,000 subscribers.The King Gets 1000 Subscribers Health Issues King Harkinian is an alcoholic, claiming that drinking helps him think in the morning. Because of this, his liver is shriveled and black. The King once literally lost his head, but he didn't appear to suffer any bleeding or pain and he even retained consciousness.The Evil Faces of The King (Over Nine Thousand Toasters II) Not much later, his head was reattached.Over Nine Thousand Toasters: Spaghetti (Part 1 of 3) One day, The King's right eye suddenly and inexplicably exploded, and while he recovered, Morshu, and later Zelda, temporarily took his place as king. Yes, Zelda became the king. It's a long story.The Morshu Movie (1) Sources Category:Alcoholics Category:Males Category:Monarchs Category:Royalty